


Who's Next?

by Jocu19



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Citadel DLC, Drabble, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of the other crew members
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 00:57:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3709125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jocu19/pseuds/Jocu19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>EDI meets with Shepard at the Citadel apartment, bearing gifts for the crew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who's Next?

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking, "what did EDI actually get for the rest of the crew?" So this is my head canon to what happened afterwards. Though, in this cutscene they're about to buy the gifts, I however, made it so that EDI had already thought through and bought the gifts, and not all the gifts are material possessions either, which I thought was important in showing her "human" side.

“Who’s next?”

“I was thinking of something for Liara…”

“Surely, there’s something the Shadow Broker  _doesn’t_  have?” Shepard teased, and if he didn’t know any better, he’d believe it was true, if seeing the information from the Shadow Broker’s lair was any proof.

“I believe the correct question is, Shepard, is there something that  _I_  don’t have?” EDI quipped. Interesting. Shepard could only imagine what an unshackled super-intelligent AI had, that the galaxy’s most infamous information broker didn’t.

“I was watching Liara’s visit earlier today-“  
  
“EDI, you had the apartment bugged!?” Shepard scoffed, though, he should’ve expected this coming from her, with the Normandy already under her surveillance. “Go on…”he huffed. What was he going to do when Kaidan comes over, he had made certain plans,  _intimate plans_ , for the evening for the both of them after the date. “Make sure you turn those cameras off when Kaidan visits later.”

“Of course, Shepard” EDI purred.

“So what did you get Liara?” Not wanting to continue about how intimate these plans with Kaidan were.

“I installed a database of sorts, a playlist as you call it, on Glyph, of all 21stCentury piano classics. Her mood digressed while she was playing the piano…she seemed,  _happy, and hopeful._ I hope that she will like my present when we are back on board the Normandy, perhaps she could use the distraction. Glyph also concurs with my decision.”

“An excellent choice, I must say” Glyph chimed in nearby, “Doctor T’Soni will be most pleased.”

“We’ve all been quite stressed with what’s going on lately. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it, EDI.”

**~**

Aside from the ring, it was cologne, the one that Kaidan wore during their date in the Presidium, and occasionally, on the ship where his musk would waft around the deck.

“For you and the Major”, she said handing him the small bottle, “when you need… _chemistry.”_ Shepard’s eyes widened at that, surely she didn’t mean – “I assure you Shepard, the function is purely olfactory. I detect you take the scent quite, _pleasing,_  when Major Alenko is around.”

“EDI, I don’t think –“

“I have also bought two tickets to the premier of the new Blasto movie you’re so fond of. Perhaps you and Major Alenko would like to attend the screening in Silversun Strip there tomorrow.”

“Thanks, and EDI, how did you know I liked the way Kaidan smelled?” and though he probably knew the answer to that, Shepard also knew that EDI would someday take his advice and use it on himself sooner or later.

“Intuition, Shepard…Also, my scans can read your oxytocin levels. They spike whenever Major Alenko is in close proximity.”

**~**

“And what’s that?”

EDI was holding out her hands, metallic palms cupping the tiny object. Some sort of micro-chip Shepard assumed by the shape of it, but all he gave EDI was a questioning look.

“Calibration Simulator 2187” she started, “I managed to replicate an alpha version with over 10,000 optimization methods more than the original. I have also taken the liberty of adding every weapon in the crew’s possession to the simulator for our benefit. I personally designed this one to fit Garrus’ visor and omni-tool. ”

“Uh-huh” Shepard chuckled disbelievingly, this’ll sure to keep Garrus busy, “let’s just hope he doesn’t get distracted while we’re out on the field.”

**~**

EDI was then fiddling on her omni-tool, the orange rectangular hologram softly lighting the room, and glowing across Shepard’s skin.

“Is that a map of some sort?” He asked.

“You are correct Shepard. As I recall on our mission at Rannoch, Tali had expressed interests in building a home there once the war is over. I have marked out all optimal sites for her do so, prioritizing locations near vistas of what organics perceive as… _beautiful.”_

“Process complete”, she finished, “sending co-ordinates to Tali now.”

**~**

The familiar colours of black, red and white unfolded before Shepard, the N7 logo largely displayed across the fabric, towards left, just below the low neckline. It was a tank top, and the size was definitely bigger than Shepard’s. Wider across the chest and slimmer towards the waist. This one was definitely for Vega. Not a N7 hoodie,  _thankfully_ , James had tried countless times to win it off Shepard in a game of poker, and there was no way he would let him get an easy handout from EDI either.

“Where’d you get this from EDI?” Shepard asked, tucking the shirt beneath his chin. The Alliance BDU’s did get stuffy at times, so getting one for himself seemed like a good idea, and maybe Kaidan would like one too.

**~**

“Anything for Javik?”

“No.”

**~**

EDI had then emptied the other contents of the gift box, an extra bottle of brandy for Chakwas, just a tad sweeter, enough to bring out the cherry. A signed photograph of Derek Rogers topless from the waist up for Cortez _, “I’m rooting’ for you”_ , it read. A spare toothbrush head for Traynor, and a specific ship upgrade Adams had been pining for after some time.  

“Are you  _sure_ , Jeff was fine with this?”

“Do not worry Shepard. Like I said, I have scanned several Citadel bank accounts that have limited security firewalls. Breaching them will not be a hassle. Though if I am detected, I will have no choice but to go rogue, and commandeer the Normandy and the crew into the far reaches of the galaxy.”

“…That was a joke, right?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thought I should add, google what Oxytocin is if you don’t know >.>  
> And Derek Rogers is a player Steve mentions during his visit with James to watch a game of Biotiball in the Citadel apartment. 
> 
> Hope you liked it! :3


End file.
